Girlhood
Do you ever feel like you’re on an actual high after a girls’ weekend? There’s a deep, soul-level feeling that comes from reconnecting with the people who remind you just how precious life is and how damn funny you are when you’re around those who truly know you to your core. That’s exactly how I feel after spending time with my best friend, especially after being apart for most of the year.
This was only the second time we’ve seen each other all year, yet it was one of those reunions where you swear you’re going to go out and do things… and instead find yourselves perfectly content sitting at the table, chatting well into the wee hours of the night. We always try to make plans, but we’re cursed, blessed, really, with the gift of the gab. Five-plus hours pass before we realize we need to come up for air. Time simply doesn’t exist when you’re with people you love unconditionally. The mundane becomes sacred, and the rest of the world fades into the background when you and your girlfriend are sipping cocktails and spouting the most insane things in public.
We’ve been friends for 15 years. Even though we’ve spent most of those years physically apart, her friendship has carried me through every season of my life with a kind of unconditional, real, deep love that began in our earliest days. When you’re young, you can’t possibly understand the weight or rarity of a friendship like this. It’s only when you become “real” adults that you recognize how profoundly it shapes you. Our friendship has evolved, becoming more vulnerable, more intentional, and more essential than it ever was in our coming-of-age era.
She’s someone I’ve always looked up to as a role model, even though she’s my peer ( she’s actually younger than me). And honestly, if you’re not obsessed with your girlfriends, you’re doing it all wrong.
When she pulled out of the driveway to head back to her home a few hours away, the closest we’ve lived to each other all year, we both felt it and of course didn’t have to say a thing. Neither of us wanted her to leave. You know that wild serotonin rush when you first realize you’re in romantic love? And the feeling that you always want to be near that person? I feel that same intensity about platonic love… maybe even more so. I am in love with my best friend. There, I said it. Is that what the peanut gallery wanted?
It’s a kind of love without conditions or expectations, the kind that makes you feel instantly at home. A love where you don’t even have to unpack the heaviest parts of your life because their presence alone makes everything lighter. For me, just being around her heals things I didn’t even know were broken. My heart feels full after just 72 hours together.
Some of you may know that I’m currently in what I call my solitude girl era, and I’m loving it. I’m not dating. I have no love interests. I have a disciplined nighttime skincare routine. I’ve read more books this year than I have in years past. Most importantly, I’m only making space for friendships that invoke the same safety, warmth, and joy my best friend gives me. No one can compete with 15 years, of course, but that feeling of being deeply seen and cherished is my standard.
I’ve never experienced a romantic relationship that made me feel as safe and special as my girlfriends do. That’s not to shame men (and if you feel shamed… simply do better). It’s to say that this level of friendship is rare, precious, and powerful— it’s my blueprint. One that deserves to be honored.
Tael’r is the blueprint of friendship and girlhood that I strive to emulate in every friendship, whether abroad or at home. And if you’ve made it this far into my love letter to my girlmate, consider this your sign: reach out to your girls. Tell them you love them. Put a girls’ night on the calendar ASAP. I live by the GNO one-night-a-week rule, and it has brought more abundance into my life this past year than I ever thought possible. I suggest you instate this rule into your life immediately because let’s be honest, having a boyfriend is uncool now anyway!
